Hi Reader,

A few years ago, I stumbled upon a captivating idea in Elizabeth Gilbert's Big Magic: Ideas are like elusive sparks floating around, waiting for the right person to bring them to life. If you're not ready, they simply move on to someone else. This concept of ideas as fleeting opportunities has fascinated me ever since, especially those that repeatedly seek my attention, inviting me to explore them further.

One such idea, intertwining play, identity development, and neurodivergence, has persistently fluttered back into my life. This week, it surfaced yet again in two separate conversations, prompting me to finally embrace and expand upon it in this Saturday morning's musings.

Play has been a recurring theme in my reflections for the last three years, tracing back to when I first delved into the relationship between play, culture, place attachment, and immigration in an academic paper (yes, I had a whole other academic life before I started talking about autism and ADHD!).

D.W. Winnicott, a prominent psychoanalyst active in the mid-20th century, emphasized the critical role of play in our identity formation and the creation of culture. He conceptualized play as the place of becoming — the place we first learn what is "me" and what is "not me." So while play is well, playful, it's also serious work! So much so, he once asserted that a therapist's first task might be to teach their client how to play.

While I often discuss play's significance in unmasking, its importance goes far beyond. Play is vital for a child's identity development. So here's the thought I've been marinating on over the last six months: play is often thwarted in neurodivergent children, so what does that do for identity formation in neurodivergent children?

• Autistic children, for instance, are often criticized for playing alone or having intense interests — despite these being perfectly acceptable forms of play.
• Similarly, ADHD children are often told their play is "too much" due to its loudness or intensity.

I believe a lot of neurodivergent children develop a sense of "play shame" (shame about how they play) and therefore their play get's aborted and thwarted. When this happens part of their identity development also gets stalled and it impacts their natural inclinations toward play.

In a recent group consultation, we shared a brief laugh over our mutual tendencies toward workaholism — a moment of shared connection but also a reflection on a serious issue: why do so many neurodivergent adults struggle with play or maintaining a healthy relationship with it?

Perhaps someday I'll formulate these musings on play, identity, and neurodivergence into a proper thesis or article, but for now, I find myself curious about the interconnection of these and continue to stretch myself to cultivate more play in my life. But for now, wherever you find yourself on the spectrum of play, I hope you discover creative ways to engage in play this weekend. Remember, play is serious work — it's where identities and cultures are forged.

Wishing you a playful weekend,

Dr. Neff

Now let’s look at this week’s roundup of new releases.